


Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

by orphan_account



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alec is dying and so am I, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Malec, suprisingly fluffy, title from the one Lana song I've ever heard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-20
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-05-22 01:25:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6065515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alec is running out of time. Magnus is doing all he can, but maybe it isn't enough.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kiss Me Hard Before You Go

**Author's Note:**

> Hey :) My first fan fiction posted on AO3, I hope I've done these characters justice. Basically I'm just a terrible person who loves some angst. I don't own the Mortal Instruments!

Magnus Bane was exhausted.

His hair was a mess and he trembled as he lay on the leather couch. Draining as it may have been, the four potions made for his last client left him with a wad of bills filling his pocket. It would be hours before Alec returned; no way was he moving around now. Sprawled on the sofa, he curled into himself and slowly drifted into a dreamless sleep.

The harsh ringing of a phone woke him hours later – his phone. Scrambling across to where he'd flung it aside earlier, he answered quickly.

“Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn, who is this?”

“Magnus – it’s me,” Jace replied, and Magnus groaned internally. He was not ready to play pet warlock to any shadowhunters that weren’t his boyfriend.

“What happened, Jace? Did you get down and dirty with another potential relative?” The phone crackled the call was cut short. Maybe they'd leave him alone now, he hoped.

No such luck. The phone chimed again.

"Sorry, Magnus, we've got no connection -"

"Like I haven't heard that one before," he expected a sarcastic retort, but the answer made his blood run cold.

“Magnus! It’s Alec.” Jace’s voice cracked and Magnus felt dread fill him. No, not Alec. Anyone but Alec.

Hands gripping the phone, he whispered, “Where are you? I’m coming. Keep him awake, moving, breathing, and don’t let him die.”  
Forgetting his still weak powers, he ran across to the door, pulling on the nearest pair of shoes and sprinting out into the frigid night air.

He couldn’t lose Alec. Not yet.

***

“Stop doing that!” Isabelle Lightwood scolded her brother with a shaking voice as his eyes slipped shut once again. One hand on the side of his face, she shook him until he groaned and looked up at her.

“I’m tired…” No, she thought, not yet.

Swallowing the lump rising in her throat, she shook her head. “I don’t care, Alec. I can’t - I can’t lose another brother,” He gripped her hand at this and she smiled through her tears.

“Iz - I want to see Magnus,” Alec’s voice was weak, and he struggled to catch his breath afterwards.

Stroking his cheek, Isabelle nodded. “I know, and he’s coming, Jace called him. You’ve just gotta hang on until then, okay?”

A serene smile settled on Alec’s face, despite the gaping wound leaving him breathless from pain.

***

Magnus ran through Brooklyn at an almost inhuman speed, scattering pedestrians as he barged past. The barrage of insults fell on deaf ears - nothing mattered, nothing except Alec.

Someone was blowing up his phone with texts, and he assumed it was Jace; but he didn’t care enough to stop and check. He ran on pure adrenaline and felt dread fuel his aching limbs.

He had waited years for someone like Alec. None of his previous lovers made him feel the way the boy did; the warmth in his stomach, the desperation to see him smile. There was something different about Alexander Lightwood, something soft but fiery in his blue eyes. Magnus had never felt so strongly for someone, never loved someone like this.

He couldn’t lose Alec, because he’d lose himself too.

**

When the Greater Demon had reared it’s ugly head, even Jace flinched a little. Clary’s breathing stopped and Isabelle unconsciously stepped back. Saliva dripped from gleaming fangs the size of Seraph blades, and the putrid stench of rotten flesh hit the group in waves, leaving them gagging. The monster had several limbs splayed out on the concrete, and it lumbered towards them, claws outstretched.

“Izzy, now!” Throwing her whip, Isabelle smirked as it wrapped around a leg (or was it an arm?) allowing Jace to plunge his dagger into the leathery skin.

The creature roared. Thrusting itself upwards, it threw Jace against the wall of the alley and started towards Isabelle. Shocked, she pulled out her blade and brandished it viciously. It did nothing to deter the demon, which scuttled towards her faster and faster, it's sharp claws near her face, breath making her eyes water, so close, so close -

Until it was gone. Lowering her blade slightly, Isabelle looked around her. Clary perched next to Jace, dabbing at a cut on his head. The demon lay sprawled on the ground, an arrow protruding from it’s back and a claw embedded in something black. A shirt, stained dark with blood.

“Alec!”

***

When Magnus rounded a corner and saw the scene unfurl before his eyes, he couldn’t hold back a gasp.

There was blood staining the cracked concrete, the thick black ichor of a demon mixing with the scarlet gushing from Alec’s chest.

Alec.

 _nononononononono_.

Suddenly he was on his knees by the boy, nudging Isabelle to the side and desperately shoving away the carcass of the demon. Alec's breathing was stunted, and the fang was still embedded in his wound.

“Why the fuck is it still in there?” He cried, gently tugging on the fractured bone. Alec groaned and Magnus felt his heart freeze - there was nothing he wanted less than to hurt the boy. Gently kissing Alec's forehead, he nearly gasped at the chill from his cold skin. Ripping off his jacked, he held it against the cut, staunching the flow of blood.

“We had to stop the blood, he would have died, he can’t die Magnus!” Magnus glared at her, but softened as he saw her tremble.

Stroking her shoulder, he nodded and smiled. “I know, Iz, I won’t let him go.”

Turning back to the frail body of his boyfriend, he began to stroke his cheek.

“Alec, Alec! Sweetheart, look at me, I need you to look at me.” Alec groaned lightly but slowly his eyes drifted open. He couldn't face never seeing those eyes again.

“Magnus…” He whispered, and Magnus felt his desperation grow.

“Alexander, I’m here. I’m gonna fix this, I’m gonna fix it all, I promise. You’ve got to look at me though. I need to see you, baby,” Alec smiled weakly, and gripped Magnus’s hand.

“Love you, Mags. A lot,” Eyes widening, Magnus shook his head.

"You’re not dying on me yet, Alexander Lightwood."

Holding his hands above Alec’s wound, he finally saw the extent of the damage. Blackened, burnt skin around a bloody gash which blood flowed freely from, mixed with a black substance Magnus feared was poison. Cracking his knuckles, he breathed in and hoped to any Gods that he could summon his powers.

Blue sparks crackled weakly between his long tanned fingers. It took all his might to channel his remaining energy towards the gaping wound, and he watched sticky poison slowly drain out until -

Slumping forwards, Magnus barely caught himself before collapsing onto Alec. Isabelle touched his shoulder, concerned, but he shrugged her off. He had to keep going.

"Magnus..." She trailed off and he looked back to her. A gasp escaped her red lips as she saw how ashen his face was.

"I have to save him Isabelle." Turning back to Alec, he lifted shaking hands to the boys broad shoulders.

All of his energy seeped into Alec's body and Magnus watched the wound heal slightly further. But his trembling hands quickly weakened and he couldn't continue. Gulping in cool air and trying to gayer his strength, he watched as the blue sparks faded from his hands.

"M-Magnus," a voice whispered weakly. Looking down at Alec, Magnus felt his heart break. There was nothing he could do. He was losing the best thing he'd ever had, because he was weak.

Alec smiled slightly at him. "It's not - not your fault, Magnus. You did your best," Magnus frantically shook his head.

"Shut up Alec, you stupid nephilim! You can't leave, I can't lose you, not yet!" His breath came in dogged pants; he could barely hold himself up, let alone heal a greater demon wound. Gently, his hand stroked Alec's face, and the boy leaned into the touch. He had to be calm, for Alec.

"Stay with me, Mags. P-please," Specks of blood trickled down Alec's chin. Isabelle backed away slowly, pressing a kiss to her brother's head and murmuring something in Latin. Alec smiled at her, repeating it back. Scurrying off, the girl sunk down next to Clary and watched from afar.

Ignoring the revolting mix of ichor and blood on the ground, Magnus pulled Alec into his arms so that the teenager was resting against his chest. Tears were falling fast from the green catlike eyes, landing on the soft mess of Alec's hair.

"I'm so sorry, Alec. I can't save you, this is my fault." Alec shook his head and used what appeared to be the last of his strength to hit Magnus softly on the chest.

"Not your fault, Magnus. Nobody's fault. Just my time." Stupid self sacrificing shadowhunters. Magnus pressed kisses to the boys head, filling himself with the feeling of Alec. In his mind, it would never be Alec's time.

Alec found Magnus's hand and gripped it tightly, smearing blood on the soft fingers.  
"I'm scared, Magnus. I'm a shadowhunter, I shouldn't be scared, but I am." A sob caught in Magnus's throat and struggled to speak for a minute. Stroking Alec's hair, he whispered quietly.

"Nothing wrong with being scared sweetheart. Can I tell you a secret?" Alec's eyes whined slightly and Magnus smiled town at him.

"I'm scared too, Alexander, of what I'll be without you. You're everything to me." Now Alec was crying, and Magnus was shocked. Alec never cried, hardened by the struggles of war as he was. Only after Max's death had he let Magnus see his tears. The sight was a terrifying shock.

"You'll be - you'll be Magnus Bane, High Warlock of Brooklyn," he paused to cough up blood, then added, "bitch." Now Magnus was laughing, a warm laugh that broke towards the end.

"God, I love you. Alec, I've never loved anyone like I love you."

"I love you too, s - so much. More than anything. You're so special, Mags."

Magnus manoeuvred Alec so that the boy lay on the ground and he hovered above him. Leaning forward, he let their lips meet, desperately trying to savour the feeling of kissing Alec. When he began to cough blood again, Magnus pulled away, hands framing his cold cheeks.

"Hurts, Magnus. Hurts so much," Dread settled in the pit of Magnus's stomach. The end was near now, there was so little time, _why was there never enough time?_

Softly, he placed kisses over Alec's clammy brow, "I know, baby, but it'll be over soon. Promise."

Alec's eyes began to flicker shut, and he squeezed his boyfriend's hand. Magnus smiled, bestowing a final kiss on Alec's nose. When the boy's pulse finally slowed to a standstill, Magnus began to wail.

His calm bedside manner slipped immediately and he cried out, winding his hands into his hair and tugging as broken moans left his lips. Shaking Alec's shoulders, he willed the boy to wake up. But Alec's blue eyes stayed firmly shut, and he knew it was the end.

Curling onto his side, he pushed himself as close as possible to Alec's cold, frail body. What felt like hours, but must have only been minutes, passed before hands touched his back to pull him away. Magnus was weak and pliable in their arms, and Jace gently carried him away from the body.

Why should he fight them? He had nothing left to fight for.

***

It was years before Magnus came to terms with his loss.

Izzy hunted demons with a burning passion, until she collapsed from exhaustion, then slept until she could leave and kill more of the bastards who took away her other brother. Jace shut out the world, except Clary, who drew until her hands hurt and she was crying without realising. Everyone got on with their lives. What was left of their lives, at least.

Alec's funeral was hell. Maryse and Robert begrudgingly let Magnus attend, and he sat by Isabelle, core fusing to cry until he was back in the loft. A man who'd never met Alec waxed beautiful words about him, and his strength, but Magnus couldn't listen. If he heard anymore about how brave Alec was, he'd lose it.

Only the three who'd seen him the night of Alec's death had witnessed his tears.

He burned the sheets on the bed because they smelt of Alec, of apple shampoo and leather. He moved their photographs into his office; but he kept one of Alec's worn out jumpers with him at all times.

Magnus didn't know what he became without Alec. A shell of his former self, renouncing glitter and cursing hair products because why should he bother, now that Alec was gone?

After months of begging, Isabelle pulled him from the loft and dragged him to the institute. Magnus hadn't been back since Alec's death and the mere though of stepping into his lost lovers home made him want to vomit. But Isabelle was persuasive and once they reached their destination, Magnus did not regret it. A small corner of the library, one which he'd never seen before, stood before him. A white label on the wall read 'Alec and Izzy - Top Secret!' in a childlike scrawl. He looked to Isabelle, confused.

"This was our hideout, when mom and dad got angry or we needed a break. Alec came here more than me, and these -" she gestured to the stacks of books and boxes holding mysterious treasures "- they were all his. I though you'd want to see them, Magnus."

Piles of trinkets and blankets, all of which had belonged to Alec. He hadn't felt so close to his boyfriend since that night, as he ran his fingers across books and toys and scribbled drawings.

Magnus hugged her to him then, and felt her tears pool on his shoulder.

"Thank you, Isabelle. Thank you so much."


End file.
